


Flower Breath

by Ghosts_of_Mice



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: First fic ever so i'll probably be redoing the tags like five hundred times, Gen, I just realised that i can write whatever i want so screw most of the canon, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-15 00:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghosts_of_Mice/pseuds/Ghosts_of_Mice
Summary: In which Merlin coughs up flowers for everyone he loves, yet they all have different responses to finding out. Pretty much my take on the Hanahaki Disease AU-  Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flowers or flower petals. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated, or to somehow wipe away all one’s memories of their beloved person.





	1. Hunith

Merlin’s magic was surprisingly easy for Hunith to keep tabs on, It happened after he had just turned five and a group of knights had been passing through. Merlin had been struggling with getting water and one of the knights offered to help. Hunith had run out when Merlin shouted he could do it himself, knowing her son would try to use magic. It had been easy enough to pass off magic around the other villagers as dumb luck; but knight, knights would know. She gathers him in her arms and holds him close. He tenses realizing his mother is frightened of the red capes.  
“We’re looking for a sorceress, she was seen passing through here, and for her crimes against Camelot she must pay. King Cenred has allowed us to search the outer towns.” The knight stares grimly at them.  
“Pay? Like with gold?” Hunith winces.  
“No little one, with her life, she chose to use magic and for that she must die.” As the knights ride out from the village merlin bursts into tears, Hunith holds him close but she knows he’s afraid. She settles him into bed that night and explains as much as she can about hiding his magic and why he needs to. Stressing it would be bad for him to show other people in case they called the knights back. She hate’s lying to him, but as he cries himself to sleep and the drizzles of rain does not let up for three days until he catches a frog; she knows it’s for the best.  
Merlin is six years old when he comes running back into the house coughing and gagging; he tries to squirm his way out of Huniths grasp to get to his bed. His mother tenses, worried he’d caught the sickness that had been going around. When his coughing stills for the moment she gently asks him about it. He tries to make a dash for his bed.  
“I don’t feel sick at all Mum, just hard to breathe.” She holds him close and asks if he used magic on accident, and maybe he was just worried about someone seeing.  
“No mum, it’s just-“ he breaks off coughing again and this time he actually heaves something up. Cradled in his hands are pink carnation petals speckled with a tiny bit of blood, half of a full carnation falls onto the floor and Merlin looks so terrified Hunith hugs him even tighter.  
“Merlin, sweetheart is this where the flowers under your bed are from? It’s okay, I’ll send a letter to Gaius, it’ll be alright, it’ll be alright.” She rocks him back and forth as he sobs. Coughing is now another thing to worry about. Thankfully most of the villagers believe he’s just a frail sick child. They pay no attention to the carnations he stuffs into his pockets. When Hunith gives him a neckerchief he takes to coughing into it. He shakes it out at the end of the day, the flower petals swirling onto the floor before being swept outside. Gaius responds and tells Hunith he believes Merlin may have an illness many magic texts refer to as Flower Breath. Where the afflicted coughs flowers for people who do not return their feelings of love. At the worst it is believed the afflicted will choke to death from the flowers filling them up, if the feelings aren’t returned. Merlin returns from his chores to find his mother crying. He climbs on her lap and hugs her.  
“It’s okay Mum, I’ll be okay. Did Gaius find a cure for what’s wrong with me? “Hunith sighs and hugs him briefly, she pushes the letter farther away from merlin’s hands.  
“Merlin, do you know what love is?”  
“Of course! Old man Stephan told me about it! It’s how I feel for you! I love you mum!” She nods and asks more about how he feels for the other villagers. He seems sad as he tells her he tried spending time with all of them but none of them made him cough the flowers up. He seems close to tears explaining how every person he spent time with made him feel worse. He had spent roughly two weeks trying to figure out where they came from and he finally gave up and came home, on his way home he said he had been thinking about her, and how excited he was to tell her about the flowers, when he had started coughing and heaving.  
“Oh, I love you Merlin, you silly boy.” Merlin looks shocked and then shakes his head.  
“But mum, you tell me to hide my magic and Tivin told me that someone who loves you has to love all of you. And you tell me to hide my magic which means you can’t love all of me.” Hunith sets merlin down kneeling in front of him.  
“Merlin, I only tell you to hide your magic because other people could get very upset and take you away from me, I don’t ever want that to happen. You remember what happened last year with the knights? I could never let them hurt you, I love you far too much.” Merlin beams at her and hugs her tight. She can tell he used magic when he moves from hugging her to stare at the ground instead of looking her in the eye.  
“Show me?” she asks him when she sees his hands behind his back. Shyly he reveals a crown of pale pink carnations he places it on her head and then coughs a little, as he’s running out to meet Will. He no longer coughs pink carnations. He conjures them for his mother whenever he gets a spare moment. When he rides off to Camelot he leaves her with a bouquet of them. She makes jokes about him being too dense to realize his own mother loves him when he was younger. When Nimueh tries to take her from him he coughs and heaves choking on almost full carnations as he races to the isle of the blessed. He doesn’t bother hiding them in his neckerchief, just letting the petals and spatters of blood fall behind him as he gets closer and closer. He finds Gaius in his stead and he heaves carnations and white rose petals. He winces, he knows what this means for Gaius and he hopes he lives. Merlin is not sure what will happen to him or the flowers if the person dies before he tells them. He’s grateful he doesn’t find out. Gaius gets misty-eyed when merlin shows him the petals that represent his love of him. Merlin apologizes for not realizing how much he cared for Gaius before. Gaius simply pats him on the back and makes his favourite chicken for dinner and porridge the next day.


	2. Arthur: Pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to have to go through this entire series for Arthur aren't I.. Ah well, I don't really need sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this tiny ass update, sorry it's not better/longer

Being threatened with a mace, and then forced to become the man’s servant was not Merlin’s idea of any sort of love.  
"You've had your fun, friend." Merlin feels a scratch in his throat at saying friend. The man stalks towards him tilting his head as he asks him to explain himself. Merlin quips just as fast as the man in front of him does and Merlin is almost pleased with his magic's decision to grow flowers. Until he swings at him and ends up with his arm twisted back behind him and Prince Arthur snarling in his ear. Merlin swallows down the prickle of thorns and urges his magic to stay under his skin this once.  
“Can you walk on your knees?” Merlin bites back the tickling of petals and snaps out a no after a pause. Arthur’s eyebrows raise higher as merlin babbles himself into a fight. When Arthur swings his mace upwards merlin panics and his eyes flash to protect himself, but he can feel the scratching in his throat growing stronger. Merlin bites back another cough when he sees Arthur smiling at him as he’s allowed to stumble up. He spends the day in the stocks, trying to figure out why his magic and the flowers are reacting so strongly to such a horrible person.  
The song is beautiful and familiar to merlin in a way that makes his skin crawl. He frowns as the song continues before he connects the doll and the book to the drooping heads and the spiderwebs creeping upwards.As he covers his ears he feels calm, his magic is not the usual sizzling fire under his skin, it is a soft bubbling and when he realises this he panics calling it to the surface faster than needed. He drops the chandelier with ease. He tries not to think too much as he see's the woman still under it. He watches from the side as everyone slowly wakes. He pretends to brush spiderwebs from himself when Gwen looks at him oddly. When he see’s the woman flinging a knife towards Arthur, he reacts on instinct. Slowing down everything and shoving Arthur and himself out of the way. He smiles when the king insists he be rewarded. The smile drops off as he is allowed to become Arthur's servant. Merlin coughs and curses under his breath at the thought of being allowed to serve. He feels the ache in his throat and he coughs a grouping of petals into his neckerchief as he and Arthur turn to face each other. He ignores them, throwing them out the window turning away as they fall when he returns back to his chambers. He catches a glimpse of red on the ground but ignores it. 

When he see’s the snakes in Valiants shield he forces himself to learn the spell to reveal them. He cannot let Arthur died by a simple snake, magical or not. Not when he has the spells to protect him. Merlin coughs into his neckerchief and Arthur whaps him on his back.  
“I can’t have you dying before I win the tournament.” Arthur laughs. Merlin frowns and pulls a few petals, tossing them into the fireplace while fixing Arthur’s armor. Merlin winces as he pulls the shoulder strap over.  
"You know you'll die Arthur, Valiant is cheating!"   
"I have to fight Merlin, I can't be seen as a coward, not by my people.. No matter what happens in the fight I want them to be proud of the king I could be."  
Arthur frowns at him and gestures for him to move faster, snapping a glove over his hand to smack merlin again. He waves him off as Merlin gives him his sword. Merlin dashes back to his room where the statue is unmoving. He hisses the spell clenching his teeth as he hears the swords clashing. It takes him a few fallen petals to realise the dog is growling at him. He slams the door shut over it and runs out before informing Gaius not to open it. Gaius pulls the broom out and sweeps the trail of petals into a pile inside his room settling them close to his bed, letting the dog out to roam. Merlin returns to his room, throwing a shirt over the petals. He stuffs it under his bed and falls into sleep.


	3. Guinevere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen's chapter, aka i just started college and managed to write this in between a lecture about plant reproduction, sorry it's so short

When Gwen smiles at him in the stocks, merlin smiles back offering her a hand. As she leaves he’s pelted with more rotten slop. As a tomato hits him he coughs some of the sludge out and watches a Larkspur petal nestled among the rotten fruit. He laughs a little and smiles at her whenever he can. He doesn’t cough much around her, but he find himself coughing when he’s thinking about her. At the banquet he learns quickly to tuck them into his neckerchief; and ignore the odd looks the other servants give him. Gwen’s father falls ill and Merlin knows he can’t do anything less than heal him. He doesn’t care if he is caught and he’s careful enough slipping in the poltice that no one notices. When the guards drag gwen from her daily chores merlin coughs as he tries to claim he’s the scorcerer, he spits the larkspur on the ground and glares at both Arthur and Uther challenging them to say it wasn’t magic. Uther snickers at the flower petals but otherwise ignores it. Gaius’s eyebrows arch father than merlin though possible and Arthur stares dumbfounded and laughs. Merlin’s heart sinks and he hacks into his neckerchief, wincing as he tastes blood. When Gwen walks free he rushes over to her. Smiling as she explains what happened. Merlin drinks from the chalice, he knows the feeling of flowers in his throat and the minute he feels the petal tickle at his mouth he forces it to the bottom of the chalice, swallowing what he knows is poison. He doubts his death will be quick and painless. Merlin can vaguely see Arthur clinging to a rock ledge, it’s too dark to see much else and even in a fever dream his magic bends to him naturally. Gwen plucks a flower petal from merlin’s lips and smiles to herself. Gaius hurries Gwen out of the room, covering the light in his hand. When Gwen goes down to bring Arthur his meal, she brings the flower back up and Gaius looks wearily at her before sighing and magicking the potion to it’s proper form.  
“You saw the light already, wouldn’t do much good to hide anything from you now that you know what to look for…”  
Merlin is all smiles as he goes about his daily chores. Merlin coughs larkspur petals all through the night when he see’s how Gwen smiles at Lancelot. He convinces himself all he feels for her is friendship, when he notices Arthur’s stares lingering too long on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Purple larkspur petals usually symbolize first love, i was planning on making this quiet a bit longer, more about how it was merlin's first friend/potential love in the show


	4. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back from the dead, unlike arthur

Gwen eye’s the flower petals warily, merlin had been coughing them consistently and when she had pestered Gaius about it he had shrugged her concern off, calmly explain it was an ailment that could not be cured. Merlin does not bring up the kiss they shared when he was dying. She keeps fistfuls of the petals in her apron and scattered drying them around her home. As the days go on and she grows closer to Lancelot and then to Arthur she notices the petals less and less. She notices merlin more and keeps quiet about how closely he follows arthur’s orders, she sweeps petals when he coughs suddenly and he casts a grateful look to her, smiling and spitting out the purple flowers gwen had been longing to see. She finds herself alone with him and gently asks him about the red petals, he ignores her, and ignores all talk about the petals until she throws a handful of her own in his face. He stares fearfully at her.  
“You know..”  
“How could I not! The light, when you were dying, the number of times you’ve saved everyone without them noticing is magic in itself, you’ve done so much for everyone you ask no credit, the least I could do is keep your secret.”  
“Gwen, I..”  
“It’s alright merlin, I’m not very good at knowing about plants, but I do know how to find information, larkspur right?”  
“First love.” He answers for her. She smiles sadly at him.  
“Which means you’ve moved on, that you have another love, otherwise it would just be love would it not?”  
“Gwen, that’s.. that’s not how it works… as far as Gaius and I can tell the petals represent how I feel for that person, it will only stop if they died..”  
“So I’m your first love then?” Merlin pinks laughing a little.  
‘Well I wouldn’t call it love, just a fondness or-“ He coughs heaving a stream of purple that has Gwen smiling.  
“Just Fondness then?”

**Author's Note:**

> Pink carnations are used to symbolise a mother's love. White roses are used on fathers day to symbolise a father who is no longer alive but still loved.  
> Let me know who i should write about next :)


End file.
